Deny Me Read online

  “Okay,” she agreed. I cocked my eyebrow at the devious glint in her eye and tried to prepare myself for what she would say. “Let’s talk about how you and Jameson danced for like ten songs last night. Let’s talk about how I looked over and saw him laugh and then pull you in close.”

  Dropping my shoulders in defeat, I gave her the side eye to let her know what I thought of the conversation. Jameson and I had danced for a while last night until I decided to make an excuse and head back to my room. When I got there, I sat on the patio of the room and listened to the waves as I tried to sort out the information overload I was in.

  The turbulent waves of an evening storm out at sea matched the chaos crashing inside me. Crawling into bed, I had willed myself to sleep and woke with a clear head.

  The bottom line was that Shane didn’t know what he was talking about. After the past month, my relationship with Jameson was rockier than usual. So Shane’s words only stirred up what we were just recently trying to get past. In the end, Jameson and I were the same as before. We just needed to balance out again after a tough month. He was my best friend’s brother, and while I wouldn’t turn down his hot body, I was still me, and I didn’t want anything more than a man to get off on. Period.

  With that reassuring pep talk in mind, I was able to face the day easier than I was the previous night. I was ready to flirt and make Jameson blush with my racy comments. I was ready to see the tic in his jaw from irritation. I was ready for him to mess with me back. If I could push him to react like I had in the storage closet, then bonus points.

  So, I was ready for Lu’s questions. “Oh, that? I basically forced myself on him. You know how much he loves that. He was begging for me to let him go and I held on tight saying I was going to wring him dry.”

  Lu laughed but still seemed skeptical. “I don’t know, Evie. You know what I always say about you guys and your equilibrium. You two always have ups and downs, but in the end, it evens out to a somewhat healthy relationship.” She always managed to crack me up with her science terminology applied to real life. “And he seemed comfortable being there.”

  “Well that’s because I have these great tits to press against him.” I joked, shimmying, my breasts barely contained in the periwinkle, Grecian-style dress Lu helped design. It was spaghetti-strapped, with a deep V that cut down to right above my belly button where a thick band accentuated my small waist before flowing outward. The back dipped down low to the dimples above my butt, leaving only the thick waistband and two thin straps to press against my skin. “I mean, he’s still a guy.”

  “Ew. That’s my brother,” she said and cringed.

  “I know. And he’s so damn hot. You know I would be on it if he would just. Give. In.” I fell back on the bed, dramatically flinging my arm up to cover my eyes.

  Her laughter faded and I peeked out from under my arm to see her considering me. “You know, Evie, I wouldn’t mind if you and Jameson were together.”

  “Lu, you know me. You know I don’t do relationships. Just because I want to ride your brother and wear him out, doesn’t mean he makes me want forever. And, like you said, that’s what he’s looking for.”

  She cringed again.

  “She was wrong, Evelyn,” Lu said softly, referring to my mother. “Look at Jack and me. He makes me happier than I could’ve ever been. And I’ve lost love too. But he is worth it.”

  I needed this conversation to be over. It was her wedding day and it was turning toward me. “And I am happy for you. You deserve him and you deserve to be happy.” I finished before turning to find it was thankfully time to go. “Now let’s go get your gorgeous ass married.”

  The Jamaican steel drums greeted Lu, Juliana, and me at the beach and we only had a small glimpse of the pergola set up in the sand with white drapes artfully hanging from the posts. The hotel had set up a makeshift privacy wall to keep the groom from seeing his bride as we pulled up.

  “Hello, Miss King. Your groom awaits you,” The event coordinator greeted us. She didn’t waste any time and had everything ready when we showed up, so all that was left to do was walk down the aisle. The groom and groomsmen were already waiting with Jack’s parents as the only audience.

  Just as I was about to make my way to the front, I turned to Lu and wrapped her hands in mine. “We can run. I can highjack that golf cart if you want. You don’t have to marry Jack. We could always run away and live our lives together. Sister-wives for life,” I finished with enthusiasm. Juliana stood beside us, looking off and pretending she wasn’t listening to our escape plan. I was sure she wanted no part of the plan to take her brother’s bride away.

  Lu laughed, just as I knew she would, and wrapped me in a tight hug, whispering in my ear, “You’ll always be my sister. Thank you for being here.”

  Damn, I loved her. Fanning my eyes, I looked up at the sky to try and control the tears. “Alright, alright. Enough of that. You know I had to ask.” Juliana joined in our laugh once the threat of a runaway bride was over and then we moved to line up and walk out.

  When I rounded the wall, I saw the three men up in front with a dark-skinned man holding a bible and wearing a Hawaiian shirt. The juxtaposition between such a formal setting and bright shirt made me smile. Moving down the line, my eyes eventually fell on Jameson. He stood a head taller than the other guys and looked gorgeous in the simple white button up shirt, opened at the collar, and black pants. He looked stunning with his short dark hair ruffling in the wind.

  I held his eyes the whole walk up, feeling the warmth of the sand shift beneath my feet. As I was about to turn to take my spot on the left, I blew him a sultry kiss and wink.

  Juliana fell in behind me and finally, Luella. She was stunning with her long brown hair lightly swept back and blowing in the wind. The whole walk down the aisle, her eyes were glued to Jack. The sun only enhanced the beauty of her dress. We all watched, enraptured, as she approached her groom.

  The ceremony was gorgeous and simple. We couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful day with the sun shining and the waves crashing, stirring a perfect breeze to keep us cool along the beach. Lu and Jack both spoke their vows and even Jack started choking up, stumbling through his words.

  Throughout most of it, my eyes stayed on the gorgeous couple, but when they spoke their vows of love and devotion, I looked over at Jameson. And he was staring right back at me. Instead of looking away, I held his stare. In that stare, memories from the past ten years stretched between us. While Lu and Jack talked about what they’d overcome to stand before each other, I remembered how we had each stood beside them when they struggled and put our jokes aside to help them get to this moment.

  A lot of the memories between Jameson and me were of us at each other’s throats in the best way possible, filled with a familial love. But this moment was peaceful, perfect, and a thread that stretched between us, pulling us a little closer.

  It warmed my heart and squeezed my chest to have shared that with Jameson. My sweaty palms clasped together in front of me around a simple wildflower bouquet, as my eyes burned with tears, overcome by the emotion crashing over me like the waves beyond. And yet, I couldn’t look away from his dark eyes. They held me captive, forcing me to keep this connection between us. I didn’t want him to see me break under the emotion, but his look held me together, like he always did, one way or another.

  “You may kiss the bride!” The officiant exclaimed. Jameson and I smiled at each other while Jack and Lu kissed. In that moment, I’d never felt as tied to another person as I did to him.

  Jack and Lu broke our eye contact when they ran down the aisle lined by stones. Shane and I stepped up to one another, and with a smile on his face he leaned down to carry me in a fireman hold and then ran down the aisle. I hollered and laughed, holding on for dear life. When I supported myself on his butt and looked up behind us, I saw Jameson and Juliana frowning, following down the aisle.

  Nine

  Jack and Lu had chosen a quick one-hour dinner with cake a
nd a dance on a secluded stone patio below one of the restaurants. Not surprisingly, the happy couple ditched the reception fifteen minutes early, wanting to get back to their room to celebrate.

  The staff cleaned up as everyone else dissipated. Jameson walked next to me with his hands in the pockets of his black slacks and sleeves rolled up, exposing his thick forearms. Looking over, I took him in as we approached the stairs leading back to the path to our rooms. I wasn’t ready for the night to end. I had had a whole rainbow of emotions running through me after watching my best friend get married and I didn’t want to go back to my room. So, on a whim, I blurted, “Let’s go get a drink. I’m wired and it’s Saturday night in Jamaica. Let’s check out one of the bars.”

  He stopped next to me and turned his head, eyebrow raised in question. I was sure he was going to turn me down. It was Jameson; he never did spur of the moment things, and he sure as hell didn’t do them with me. Disappointment sank to my stomach, preparing for the rejection.

  “Sure.”

  My head snapped up with wide eyes, shocked that he’d said yes. I was frozen for a minute as I processed that I hadn’t just made up what I wanted to hear. “Yeah?”

  “What? Did you already change your mind? Or was it a pity invite?” he asked, gruffly.

  I shook my head at the thought of ever giving Jameson anything in pity. “Jameson, all my invites are serious.”

  His dark blue eyes shined in the glow of the tiki torches along the path, watching me, letting my words process. He just shook his head and started walking. “Come on, Evelyn. Before I change my mind.”

  We walked along the jungle-lined path in silence, with only the song of the cicadas around us. The sound of trumpets and drums became louder and louder as we got closer to the bar. Rounding the corner, we saw the packed open bar with a thatched roof. The bar was open all around and had limited high-top tables that were surrounded by a simple wooden fence dividing it from the uncovered area beyond, where people danced and a band was set up, playing loud ska music.

  The tiki torches and stringed lights lit up the area, and couples laughed and danced together. It was exactly how I wanted to finish my night. Surrounded by laughter and fun and experiencing an atmosphere I may never get to again. I turned to watch Jameson assessing the crowd. Deciding not to wait for him to make a decision about what to do next, I grabbed his hand and tugged him to the bar. “First drink is on me!” I called out over my shoulder.

  Apparently, Jameson was just as ready to let loose as I was, because within the hour we had downed about six shots and a coconut filled with some delicious alcoholic concoction. I, of course, made fun of a big, tall Jameson drinking a fruity drink out of a coconut with a pink umbrella.

  I could tell the alcohol was getting to him, because his cheeks were ruddy and he smiled a lot. Jameson always loosened the reins on his tight control when he drank. Not that it happened often. But tonight, we were laughing so much my cheeks were cramping as we relived stories and jokes we played.

  “Remember that time you hated the guy I brought to King’s? You kept messing up his drink, giving him some nasty-ass pink concoction.” I leaned on the tall table and laughed.

  “God, that guy was a dick.” He rolled his eyes. “He kept molesting you. He needed to be taken down a peg. It wasn’t my fault he was so offended by a pink drink,” he grumbled, curling his lip in disgust.

  “Hey, I wanted to be molested,” I protested.

  “Yeah, but did you want to be molested while he ogled Luella over your shoulder?”

  “Ew. Yeah. I remember that now.” I cringed, remembering how sleazy that guy was with his overpowering, nasty cologne. “But then you played my hero and danced with me.” Resting my chin on my hand, I batted my eyes in adoration.

  “Yeah. Lucky me,” he deadpanned. “All of a sudden, I was the one being molested.”

  I slapped his arm. “Oh, you loved it.”

  Throwing my arm up, I called one of the servers over. “One more shot, then we’re going to dance!” I waggled my eyebrows and his head fell back, looking up at the stars shining in the night sky. “Don’t act like that. You love dancing with me.”

  “How about you dance, and I stay here to hold our table?” he asked hopefully.

  “I mean, if watching is your thing, Jamie-Boy, then I’m always up for putting on a show.” I shimmied with a knowing grin. His eyes dropped to my breasts barely contained in the deep cut of the dress. His jaw ticked and his broad chest rose on a deep inhale. When he finally lifted his eyes up to mine, I gave him a knowing smile and grabbed the shot glass our waitress had placed on table. Without moving my eyes from his, I downed the shot and backed away to the dance floor.

  The trumpets blared loudly with the bass guitar to create a fast rhythm that had me jumping up and down to the beat. I closed my eyes and got lost in sounds vibrating through my body. I didn’t acknowledge the other people around me. I closed them off and swirled my hips, moving down and back up. I twirled one more time as the song bled into the next one.

  Opening my eyes, they immediately locked on Jameson’s. He stood against the table, watching me move. Even from a distance I could feel his eyes skimming over my body as he gripped the table, his forearms straining. Almost as though he was dragging his hands along the moisture building on my skin in the humidity of the night.

  I reached my hand out and curled my finger, inviting him to come dance with me. To come take what he so clearly wanted. We had been drinking and laughing all night, but the way he stared at me now hinted at a major change waiting to happen. Jameson and I were standing on the precipice of a decision, and I was going to do all I could to make him fall into me.

  Staring him down, I exposed my leg by hiking up the slit in my dress to show more of my thigh, still gyrating my hips to the slower classic reggae song. He let go of the table and stalked his way toward me. The closer he got the hotter I burned under his gaze. I moved my hands up my body slowly to the deep bass in the music and caressed my breasts on the way up to my hair where I lifted it off my neck and rolled my body around, giving him a view of my ass.

  When I turned back around he was there, gripping my hips. I let a glint of victory show in my eyes. “Why deny me, Jameson?” I slid my hands up his chest to his shoulders, curling my fingers around his neck and into his hair. “You know I always win.”

  He didn’t respond, but I felt his laugh breathe out from between his lips across my face. He didn’t need to say anything. He let me know he was in control when he jerked my hips into contact with his where I surprisingly felt his hardness against me. He smirked when my eyes widened.

  I didn’t let the shock last long and fell into the most recent game we had played: sexual chicken. While I had been teasing Jameson for years with my sexuality, he had just started playing back, but I designed the rules for this game and he wouldn’t beat me at it. I brushed my hips back and forth across him and pulled his head down so I could whisper in his ear. “You know, Jamie-Boy. We could always have a good time in Jamaica.”

  I felt his back tense under my grip, but he didn’t pull away. His fingers dug into my bare back and stroked up and down my naked spine. His dark eyes searched mine, but his lips stayed pursed in thought.

  “Speechless?”

  He remained quiet and I cocked an eyebrow waiting for a response. Instead he twirled me out and yanked me back in an embrace tighter than before. More intimate than before, pressing his leg between mine and stealing all thought from my mind. We might as well have been a couple from Dirty Dancing with the way he held me close and made me grind on his leg.

  And then the plans of how to win were gone. My feelings were no longer about ways I could push him so I could be the victor. I forgot about taunting him, I forgot the game we were playing. All my focus was on his large hand on my bare back, my clit grinding on his thigh, the way his hard dick pressed into my hip, and the way his eyes kept dropping to my pebbled nipples.

  The humidity of the night was making m
y skin glisten and mixed with the way my body overheated from the inside out. My heartbeat pounded in my chest, matching the throb in my core. I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t know what the game was, but I didn’t want to play anymore. Everything left my mind as we shifted in a different direction and the focus became finding a way for us to reach the finish line together. I wanted us to stop torturing each other. I wanted him to stop denying me and give me what his body was promising in this moment. My body was past the breaking point, strung so tight I thought I would snap if he didn’t touch me, kiss me, fuck me.

  Standing on my tiptoes, I nipped his ear and breathed, “Take me back to your room.”

  A vibration came against my lips from where they moved to press against his throat, not backing down and pushing it as far as I could. His fingers formed a bruising grip on my hip, pulling a gasp from me as he fought an internal battle with himself.

  “Stop denying me. Stop denying yourself this pleasure. Remember how good it felt to give in in the storage closet? I can remind you.” I pulled back and stared in his eyes as I pressed my core up against his, rubbing against his erection. He needed to see that I wasn’t playing anymore. “Please,” I begged. My pride was gone.

  He whipped around with my hand in his and began pulling me through the crowd of couples lost in their own bubbles of sexuality and rhythm. We walked out past the bar and began our trek through the jungled walkway filled with deep green ferns and palm trees creating a canopy over us. We barely passed anyone else since it was so late at night. Only the sound of the branches rustled by the wind created from the shore surrounded us, giving quick glimpses of the stars above. Tiki torches spaced intermittently lit the way, keeping the mood low and sensual. Everything the resort promised. It’s like the hotel was cheering us on. Do it. Do it.